First, let me answer a few things.

This journal is not friends-only because I'm trying to be "mysterious" or "angsty teenage 'depressed' goth girl": it's friends-only because I'm really, truly paranoid. I hate little "depressed" goth girls. I'm on two state-regulated narcotics for Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (this is a more in-depth article on familial hypermobility, which is what I'm afflicted with) and quite a few other painkillers as well. Narcotics have two bad effects on the brain when your body actually uses them for fighting pain rather than getting high:

1. The first negative effect is memory loss. Those who know me in real-life can contest to this. Tell me something and ten minutes later, I will have forgotten completely all of what was just said to me.
   
2. The second negative effect is paranoia. I'm not paranoid about anything specific, but seeing new people commenting on my entries and seeing new people on my info page's friends list panics me. I know it's stupid, but I either stay a forgetful paranoid moron or I stay in level ten chronic pain the rest of my life. I'll take forgetful paranoia, thank you.

1. If--for some reason--you want to read my journal, comment here and tell me why. Just a sentence or two is fine, but tell me why. Something like, "Add me plz! :)" That does not dissuade my paranoia. But other than that, there's a very good chance I'll add you. All that does is alleviate my paranoia about new people a bit. Though if you're looking to simply expand your friends list to make yourself appear popular, this is the wrong journal to do that with. Long story short: failure to tell me why you want to read this bitter rambling log will result in you not added. Got it?
   
2. I'm a huge fan of Stephen King's "Dreamcatcher", whether in book form or in film form. So if you hate "Dreamcatcher", then you won't be amused by this journal in the slightest.
   
3. If you can't take blunt opinions on things--I once said that "Charlie's Angels"--the film--sucked and a girl I had just met had gotten pissy about it--then we will not be on pleasant terms in the slightest. I have no tact and no, it isn't a personal choice just to piss people off, it was how I was raised. Just a fair warning.
   
4. If you are a serious/severe feminist and believe women to be better than men, then get the fuckin' hell away from me. Women are just as--if not more so--stupid as men. The same applies to riot grrrls and elitist Wiccan/pagan dumbshits. Ever seen "The Witches of Eastwick"? Remember Jack Nicholson's rant on women? No? Allow me to quote him for you:
   
   "Do you think God knew what He was doing when He created woman? No shit, I really wanna know. Do you think it was another one of His minor mistakes like tidal waves, earthquakes, floods? You think women are like that? ...what? You don't think God makes mistakes? Of course He does! We all make mistakes! Of course, when we make mistakes they call it "evil". When GOD makes mistakes, they call it "nature". So whaddya think? Women: a mistake; or did he do it to us on purpose!"
   
   There was more to that quote, but I've forgotten it. Anyway, that's not the point! The point is that quote is me on any given day. I don't like women. I don't like being one. But just because I'm stuck being one does not mean I'm going to worship my menstrual cycles and convert to some feminist bullshit religion. Not all Tori Amos fans are idiots, you see.
   
5. Which reminds me. If you're a pretentious fuck about anything--music, films, religions, anything at all--then go away. I don't want to hear about how you're mentally and ethically better than those around you. We're all equally stupid.
   
6. I am an atheist. For fuck's sake, don't try to convert me. I hate that. You might see yourself as doing a good deed, trying to save me from eternal damnation and agony, but I see it as blind disrespect for personal opinions and beliefs. Got it?
   
7. Having an advanced case of hypermobility has naturally made me bitter beyond all recognition. Don't want to deal with negative and pessimistic writings? Are you exhausted, emotionally, and far too selfish to listen to the rantings of someone who actually has a good reason for being bitter? "I'm very tired emotionally." That you? Then kiss my bender and fuck off. I'm bitter for good reason and if you can't deal with that, then go to hell.
   
8. Do you suffer from Rich White Girl Syndrome? If so, please do everyone a favor--including yourself-- by buying a gun and blowing your brains out. We've got enough stupid delusional narcissistic women in the world; god knows we don't need another.
   
9. If you are pregnant or have a child, don't even ask me to add you. I hate children with a fiery, burning passion. I always have. They are not cute, they are not charming, they are not "gifts from god", all they are to me are screaming, squirming little maggots that drip wetness and ichor from every orifice on their bodies. I will never have one. I will have Gambian pouch rats and rehabbed squirrels as my babies. In fact, I already do.
   
10. Which brings me to another thing. If you think that shooting animals--particularly squirrels--for target practice is fun and/or funny, then fuck off, Freddy, and I hope your eye's put out with a rock or a BB gun pellet. I am a licensed animal rehabber in the state of Texas and I will make sure that I have a permit in whatever state I end up in. I love squirrels, rats, and any other rodent with all of my heart and considering that as a rehabber I've had to dig maggots out of bullet entry wounds in the bodies of half-grown grey and fox squirrels in insurmountable pain, the idea of shooting them as target practice is possibly the most horrible thing in the world to me and I certainly won't entertain any of you heartless fuckarows who find it amusing. Go find other rednecks and chatter with them about how killing things for no good reason is amusing, because I won't hear of it and personally, I hope you lose an eye to something or a foot to a fox/bear trap.
    
11. But! I'm not an animal rights psychotic. PETA can kiss my ass. If you're an animal rights psycho, then get the hell away.
    
12. Jesus Christ-bananas, type in a correct, coherent manner. If your entries consist of fractured grammar and uncapitalized text with words like "you" spelled with a singular "u", then there's no way in hell I'm going to add you. I'm not going to strain my eyes and brain trying to read something that looks like the writings of a drooling braindead retarded child.
    
13. If you post those stupid-as-shit internet quizzes, put them behind a LJ cut if you would. I'm sick of seeing shit like, "I'm a fighting neko! What kind of neko are you???!?!????" okay? If you don't start putting them behind LJ cuts, then I'm going to cut you off from the friends list. The occasional quiz is fine; the everysinglegoddamday quiz is not.
    
14. If all you post are those god damn internet quizzes, rest assured: you will not be added. I don't care who you are. Like I've said, my computer Hal is a slow and stubborn enough bastard as it is; I don't need a bunch of anime-centric graphics to slow him down further.
    
15. If you're a "fan" of the Alabama 3 but only know and love the songs "Woke Up This Morning", "Too Sick to Pray" and "Mansion on the Hill", then get the hell away from me. I've been converted, you see.
    
16. If you're a "hardcore fangirl" or "hardcore fanboy" about any one of my interests, then get the hell away from me. Die-hard fangirls and fanboys not only destroy an interest for me, they're also annoying as shit to listen to for prolonged (read: two minutes) periods of time.
    
17. If you're a Crispin Hellion Glover fan and a female, chances are I'm going to hate you. Half the people in the LJ Crispin Glover community are women who cannot type, women who act as though they're still in elementary school, women who live and breathe anime, and women who live through Drew Barrymore's character in the "Charlie's Angels" films. I'm a fan of the guy because he's a fabulous actor and uncommonly handsome, but Jesus Christ-bananas, I'm not deluded enough to think he'll dump his girlfriend for me, because I am just that wonderful. Anyone who does think that is, in fact, a moron and needs to be shot in the head.
    
18. If you live and breathe for anime/Japanese culture, go away. I'm not a fan of anime (save for "Trigun") and I loathe Japan with a fiery passion.
    
19. I love John Doggett and not Fox Mulder. I wish Mulder had stayed dead. Don't like that? Bite my bag.
    
20. I have little bits of sentientness in my mind that speak in voices that aren't mine, obviously. I call them muses and I've had them for a while. I'll talk about them and/or the switchboard in this journal occasionally. No I'm not insane, no I haven't been diagnosed with schizophrenia or multiple personality disorder. Find that strange or amusing? Then fuck off, Freddy.
    
21. I am not a comment whore like some people with friends-only journals are. If you read my journal and don't ever comment on any entry, ever, that's fine with me. I don't need a bunch of "Love you hon! <3333"s to put me in a good mood. It actually confuses me if that's left on an entry that has nothing to do with neediness of any sort. If you want to comment and leave something nice, that's wonderful but for god's sakes, I'm not going to take you off my list just because you don't comment. If we've got no common interests, then maybe. If you tell me to, then I most certainly will.
    
22. Sexually speaking, I'm an odd-duck. You'll know that soon enough. If that sort of thing makes you uncomfortable, then tell me and I'll filter you out of those topics (if you even want to remain reading this rambling waste of space, that is).
    
23. I AM NOT THE MOST INTERESTING PERSON ON THE PLANET. Don't expect every entry to be riveting and exciting. More than likely, I'll just be talking about how my ehlers is doing on x day.
    
24. Which brings me to the next-to-the-last thing. I talk quite a bit in Beaverspeak. Yes it's absurd and yes it's silly-sounding but I don't care; I can't exactly control it any longer. There's a reason why I go by Pete. Figure it out, if you would.
    
25. Don't ever betray my trust. I'm paranoid enough as it is and it's rather hard for me to trust anyone. Once I do, however, I can be incredibly sweet and incredibly loyal. Though once my trust is broken, I can get incredibly verbally violent (I have no guilt about recently telling a girl who broke my trust and caused my ex-girlfriend to cheat on me to go contract AIDS and that I hoped everyone she loved was killed in a car wreck) and I become even more paranoid. I don't need any more paranoia, thank you.
    
26. And that's all I've gotta say.
    
27. Oh. One other thing. I'm an actor/actress/film lover and most of what I write consists of film-gushing and not my boring-as-hell life. When I do write about my life, however, it's usually just me bitching about my chronic pain (the narcotics help but they don't get rid of everything completely). So if that's unappealing to you, then kiss my bender. And if you've made it this far reading this thing, then holy shit, you must have the patience of Job.